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  • Posts By: Diane Swan

    The Runaway Bride

    For years my girlfriends called me the runaway bride. I’d be in a relationship. It would get serious. We’d talk marriage. I’d get close to taking the plunge, and then inevitably instead…  I’d run. I’d runaway. End the relationship. Often breaking their hearts. At the time I wasn’t sure why I did this. I wanted to be married. I wanted to be loved. But whenever the topic came up in a relationship, and the conversation and action steps started to move in that direction, I’d completely freak out! Maybe I was afraid I’d mess things up again. Maybe I felt like it was impossible for someone to love me over the long haul. Whatever the reason was, it was a horrible habit to have. It persisted even after my salvation. The subconscious source of this tendency was obviously grasping tightly onto me, refusing to let go. At one point I
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    I Trust You- Believing God Does What He Says

    Has God ever given you a word and then you wondered, “Was that really for me? Was that really from God?” Maybe He spoke to a deep need that lays in your heart. A promise for restoration in your marriage. A word of confirmation that He will bring your wayward child home. A healing that will release you from your painful affliction. Or perhaps a life dream that He promises to fulfill. And yet undoubtedly with each word the Lord speaks, our response is a counterproductive tendency… we question it. We question the very word God spoke to us, and we begin to doubt its authenticity. This is actually the oldest trick of the enemy, with its commencement dating all the way back to the Garden of Eden. When the lying serpent entered the scene his first tactic he utilized to bring destruction upon man, was to plant the seed
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    Get Some Rest

    I had gone off the grid. I had to. The signs of a crash was coming. First, everything started to slow down, no systems were running at full speed, but I’m not talking about my MacBook . . . I’m talking about me. Life had gotten way too busy. Too many programs were running all at the same time, and I started to feel like the spinning wheel of death that freezes everything on my computer when I try to operate too many things at once. Everything needed to come to a halt. For months I had been nonstop. On a mission, doing good things that the Lord sent me out to do, but I had come back exhausted from my journey. I needed to enter into a season of rest but my mind and emotions did not agree. “There’s too much to do, you can’t stop now,” were the
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    Self Preservation or Brave Determination?

    I have a natural tendency towards self preservation. I suppose we all do, it’s an inborn instinct with the design to prevent harm and ensure life. On the surface it doesn’t sound like a bad thing. We make choices, what appear to be wise choices, to keep ourselves safe. We drive carefully, we avoid dark alleys at night, we park in well-lit areas, and hopefully we follow laws meant to protect us. All wise choices, all done to play it safe. But what happens when our playing it safe mentality transfers to our spiritual walk and keeps us from experiencing the miraculous? One my favorite women in the Bible is the woman with the bleeding issue. For twelve years she suffered with prolonged bleeding, and although she spent all her money on physicians, none were able to heal her infirmity. At that time, because she was considered ritually unclean according
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    Side by Side

    “The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.” ~ Matthew Henry When the Lord created the heavens and the earth, He spoke everything into existence . . . except for Adam and Eve. Adam He formed from the dust of the ground, and breathed the breathe of life into him. While Eve was fashioned from the rib of Adam, and made to be forever at his side. I have read the story of creation time and time again and yet it wasn’t until this week did I see the significance in how she was formed. She was neither made to be
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    Do This in Remembrance of Me

    For the past few Easters, my two oldest children find nestled next to their Easter baskets, or tucked on a shelf in their rooms, a Chocolate Easter Bunny. They immediately know how it got there. They also know from whom it came. Every year, for as long as they can remember, their dad would give them a large Chocolate Easter Bunny. The bunny was typically one item of many, but as the smaller treats varied from year to year, the large chocolate bunny was a permanent, reoccurring present. Cadbury eggs, marshmallow peeps, and jelly beans may or may not have made an appearance in their baskets, but the bunny always remained a faithful fixture. After their father passed away, the holidays became yet another reminder of their great and intense loss. As a mom I frequently felt helpless, wishing desperately I could make it better . . . knowing deeply
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    The Breaking Point- Learning How to Return From the Edge

    Some days I feel like, “Am I ever going to get it right?” It was one of “those” weeks. The kind that starts out with stomach bug infected children spewing vomit for days, and ends with a mother spewing mounds of negativity onto her children. After a week of caring for sick kids, driving a long six hour trip to return our daughter back to college, and attending to the needs of six children while my husband worked out of town all week… when Thursday arrived I finally hit my breaking point. This mama was spent! I had diverged beyond the realm of tired, into the land of exhaustion where patience does not reside, and the queen of irritability reigns. Not a drop of energy was left within me. Not an ounce of patience. At this point, it was obvious I was in no shape to be of any good
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